高质量的搞笑段子，又皮又逗，专治不开心！
1、你说你爸妈不同意我们在一起，要跟我分手，就你有爸妈啊，我爸妈说不同意我们分手。
You said your parents didn't agree with us and wanted to break up with me. You're the only one with parents? My parents said they didn't agree to break up.
2、肚子上的肉又多又软，所以我也是个软妹子。
The meat on my stomach is too much and soft, so I am also a soft girl.
3、有一天，大象在吃冰淇淋，结果他越吃越恶心，小老虎说：象腻了，象腻了。
One day, the elephant was eating ice cream. The more he ate, the more disgusting he was. The little tiger said, "I miss you. I miss you.".
4、什么伤心难过，仙女就不该有太多情绪。
Sad and unhappy, the fairy should not have too much emotion.
5、俗话说：怕什么来什么，我怕你，你怎么还不来？
As the saying goes: fear what, come what, I'm afraid of you, why don't you come?
6、都说男儿膝下有黄金，我把男朋友整条腿切下来，连块铜都没有。
It is said that there is gold under a man's knee. I cut off the whole leg of my boyfriend, and I didn't even have a piece of copper.
7、这个世界太虚伪了，最假的照片居然叫写真。
The world is so hypocritical that the most fake photos are called photo portraits.
8、这个天气出门打工，和卖火柴的小女孩又有什么区别呢？
What's the difference between going out to work in this weather and a little match girl?
9、以前吃一包辣条就很开心，现在不行了，得吃好几包，还得要火锅，烧烤加可乐，奶茶，蛋糕，冰淇凌，我买不起快乐了。
In the past, I was very happy to eat a packet of spicy strips, but now I can't. I have to eat several packages of hot pot, barbecue and coke, milk tea, cake, ice cream. I can't afford to be happy.
10、在这个无聊的时间，无聊的我问你们个无聊的问题：你们无聊吗？
In this boring time, boring I ask you a boring question: are you bored?
一、回到公司，女经理对我说：“瞧你，皮肤好得像婴儿似的，用的护肤品挺贵吧？”我很开心的说：“没有啦，我只用一些普通的洗面奶和乳霜。然后她对一旁的业务员说：“学到没？对客户就要这样哄，昧着良心也要哄。
二、记得大学有一次，我们班一个漂亮的妹子，在路上掉了张100元，我以迅雷不及掩耳之势赶紧捡了起来，然后一路跟着她，直到她买东西时，她才发现自己掉了100元，都快急哭了，于是我果断的掏出两张50元上去递给了她，告诉她这是我刚捡的。然后她就做了我女朋友。
三、今天参加婚礼现场，人声鼎沸，新郎无比激动啊，抢过司仪话筒喊到：“某某，不管以前有多少人叫过你老婆，从今天起只有我能叫啦！”说完哈哈哈大笑三声！顿时整个会场有种时间停止的感觉啊，有一道绿光，划破天际！
